Dance Floor Etiquette, Part 3

And last in our series...fancy things.

Aerials
Aerials are not usually appropriate on a social dance floor. Why? The potential for injuring someone else is HUGE.

Aerials can be appropriate in jam circles or on dance floors that are quite empty. If you're not sure, ask! At Jive Junction, you can ask whoever is at the door, or ask the DJ.

NEVER do an aerial with an unsuspecting partner, or with someone you don't know. If you're planning to do an aerial, make sure that your partner is expecting it, knows what you're doing, and knows WHEN you're doing it. Make sure that you both know how to safely EXIT from the move if something goes wrong. Before starting the move, take one last look around to make sure nobody is close enough to be injured - or to be scared.


Dips
You do not have to end a song with a dip. Ending by just stopping dancing is fine, or striking some other pose. If you do want to lead a dip, make sure you know what you are doing! If you're going to do something more complex than just a basic dip, ask her first! Especially if you don't know her well!

Ladies, feel free to refuse to dip. Even if he just starts to dip you without asking, take a small step away and firmly keep your body upright while you say "no thanks."


Erratic dancers
Sometimes, you'll notice that a particular couple is dancing kind of erratically. Maybe they're doing aerials, or a lot of kicking, or they're just not paying attention and are body slamming other people. Leaders, guide your partner AWAY from the area to somewhere safer. DO NOT place yourself so that your partner acts as a shield for you. (Yes, I've seen this.)


And that concludes our thesis on dance floor etiquette. Hope it was helpful!!

Dance Floor Etiquette, Part 2

How to deal with a partner on the dance floor is sometimes a source of much consternation, particularly among newer dancers. From discomfort with asking and accepting (or declining) a dance, to uncertainty about what to do if you mess up or are injured, social dancing can be frought with potentially uncomfortable situations. Well, fret no more! Just read on...

What do I do if I am being hurt or groped on the dance floor?
If your partner hurts you more than once while dancing (or gropes more than once), it is OK to simply stop dancing and leave the floor. Say something like "I'm sorry, my wrist is hurting me," or be more direct and say "ouch, you've managed to wrench my shoulder."

Why do I say "more than once"? Because once could easily be an accident.


How do I ask for a dance?
Take a deep breath, walk up to someone, and say "want to dance?" Try to ask one specific person, rather than a group. "Would any of you like to dance" will usually result in a long pause, while the group nonverbally checks with one another until someone finally steps forward. A group of girls will usually take a LONG time to respond to this question, because everyone will defer to the others out of politeness. Meanwhile, the asker has to stand there feeling uncomfortable.


How do I accept or decline a dance?
Accepting is easy. Say "sure" and get up and go out to the floor with your partner.

Declining is also not hard. If you just simply do not care to dance with whoever is doing the asking, say "no, thank you." If you have a reason for not wanting to dance to that particular song, but wish to dance later, say something like "this song is too fast, but I'd love to dance the next time a slower song is played" or "I'm exhausted after that last song, but maybe later."

It is polite to sit out the entire song after declining an invitation to dance, so if someone else asks you during the same song, you must refuse them, as well.


How do I end a dance?
Thank your partner. Traditional etiquette is to walk your partner back to where you found them, but this is a somewhat awkward social situation these days, and many people prefer to end a song by simply thanking their partner, and then running off. This is not rude, but merely a byproduct of so many DJ'd dances these days leaving less time between dances to find a partner for the next song.

If you wish to dance another song with your current partner, ask first. "Want to dance another one?"


What if I mess up during a dance?
Well, this is likely to happen - EVERYONE messes up. All followers miss a lead on occasion, All leaders lead inadequately from time to time, and everyone takes a misstep now and then. Don't sweat it. Don't feel that you have to apologize. Feel free to apologize if you want, but if you find yourself apologizing after every third move, that's probably too much! I have had, on occasion, dances where I'm in far less than perfect form. I'm sick, or distracted, or whatever, and I mess up SO MUCH that I feel an apology and excuse are in order after a dance is over. "Gosh, I'm sorry about that. I'll owe you another dance on a different day. I am so exhausted tonight, I'm kind of stumbling over my own feet!"


Dancing with dancers of different skill levels
Please dance with dancers who are better than you, and who are not as skilled as you!

If you're a leader and dancing with someone less skilled than you, stick to easy things until you're confident she can/will follow more complex moves. If she struggles, take it down a notch. If you're a leader dancing with someone MORE skilled than you, don't sweat it! Lead what you know, and don't feel compelled to try to do only complex moves in an attempt to impress your partner.

If you're a follower dancing with someone more skilled than you, he should make the dance easy on you - as ANY leader should make a dance easy for ANY follower. If you find yourself consistently unable to follow his leads, don't worry about it - it is NOT your fault! He's either not leading properly, or he's trying to lead things that you just don't have the skills yet to follow, and he should be catching on to that fact and adjusting. If you're a follower dancing with someone less skilled than you, keep your steps basic, and don't throw in fancy footwork variations until you're sure they won't confuse him.


Some of the dancers are so snobby!
To borrow from the Austin Swing Syndicate, "Sometimes a perception exists that good dancers only hang out with other good dancers. This is a by-product of the fact that many dancers have been dancing together for a long time and know each other better. For the most part, few people within the scene are intentionally reinforcing this perception. Feel free to break the ice if they don't."


Lots of more great tips at Gotta Dance and Austin Swing Syndicate.


Up next.... What about aerials, dips, fancy moves, and erratic dancers?

Dance Floor Etiquette, Part 1

Oh, yes, one other thing I observed at February's dance was that perhaps it's time for a refresher on dance floor etiquette!

Proper etiquette on a dance floor is basically an extension of the Golden Rule - treat others as you want to be treated. What does this mean, practically speaking?

• Try not to run into others. Leaders, be sure that you keep an eye on your surroundings as you lead your partner, and try not to toss her into other couples.
  
  
• If you do run into someone else, just apologize. You can make eye contact and mouth "sorry," you can kind of holler it over your shoulder, or you can even find the person you ran into after the song is over and just say "hey, sorry about running into you there!" Most people are super nice about the occasional dance-floor collision.
  
  
• If you are enjoying a dance that progresses around the floor at Jive Junction, where the vast majority of dancers are swing dancing (in one spot), please be aware that you will need to maneuver around numerous couples who won't be looking out for you. If you do happen to collide with another couple, be sure to apologize (see above).
  
  
• And, if you happen to be enjoying a swing dance among a mostly ballroom crowd (such as at Lake Robbins), please stay in the center of the floor and be aware that you will need to avoid getting in the way of the couples progressing around the perimeter of the floor. Again, apologize if you do collide.

See? Easy.

The next installment will be about respectfully dealing with your dance partner - do you need to apologize? what if you don't want to dance with someone who asks you? and help! my partner just broke my arm!

I would like to conclude by saying that if anyone at a Swing Des Moines event acts inappropriately or makes you uncomfortable with their actions or words, please seek out a board member and let us know. Not sure who the board members are? Ask the DJ.

Good Dancing

What makes good dancing? The question is somewhat hard to answer, since dancing is such an art, and "good" is really in the eye of the beholder. Yet, there are some general standards as to what constitutes "good" dancing vs. "needs improvement" dancing. Surely, those standards will vary depending on who you ask - and you can see a variety of responses to this question at our message board.

I have actually been taking notes over the last few months whenever I'm around people who are dancing. What qualities are evident (or lacking) in those dancers who are fun to watch, who make it look effortless? What qualities are evident (or lacking) in those dancers who are clearly just beginning, or who simply need to keep practicing?

This post is the culmination of those months of exhaustive (lol) research.

Good dancers:

• Are smooth. Their movements are flowing, not choppy. Leads have no clear stopping or starting point - the follow is not being jerked around, but rather guided into each step. (An analogy here is driving - beginning drivers, particularly on a stick shift, tend to have a lot of choppiness as they move from start to stop. More advanced drivers are more comfortable with their well-practiced movements that are needed to control the car.)
• Move smoothly from one move into the next. There's no sense of "ok, that turn is done, now what? Ok, now we'll try THIS move." Rather, each move seems to just blend right into the next one. Again, much like the car analogy.
• Have good connection with one another. I will be writing more about connection later, since it's such a huge topic. Wikipedia has a decent definition. Basically, "connection" is the link that joins the two partners - the framework through which the partners communicate. It's their phone line. Good connection is essential, and also takes time to understand and acquire. But without good connection, fancy moves and flashy acrobatics are meaningless and pointless (just as, without a good connection on the phone, delivering a great oration is also pointless.) Good connection is the foundation of good dancing.
  
• Have confidence in their knowledge. The knowledge doesn't have to be vast, but having confidence that you know what you're doing - it shows. Some dancers are really fine technically, but every movement communicates to the viewer that they're just not really sure. And some dancers actually aren't all that great technically, but they're confident enough that when you watch them, you get the impression that they really know what they're doing. Combine confidence with good basic techniques...and you've got a great dancer.
  
• A sense of comfort with their bodies. Sometimes when watching a couple dance, you get the impression that they're just not really comfortable with what they're doing. They need more practice before the movements are second nature. Some people are just not comfortable in their own bodies no matter what they're doing - this shows when they walk into a room, even. This discomfort will usually show when dancing.
  
• Able to control their own bodies (and their partner's body, if a leader). I'm not saying that good dancing is controlled...good dancing is quite often wild and crazy. But there is never a loss of control over your own body. For leaders, there is no chance they will be able to lead successfully if they are not in control of their own bodies first.
  
• Unafraid to experiment. I hesitated before tossing this in, because often beginners just lack the skill set needed to be able to play at all, and I think beginning dancers can still be good dancers even without this ability. But being able to break the rules, not slavishly completing only the steps you learned in class, tossing in some fancy footwork or an extra twirl or whatever...it makes the dance your own, rather than just a crude copy of someone else's dancing.
  

Some qualities I notice almost invariably among dancers who appear to be less skilled:

• Straight arms. Straight arms are usually either a sign of bad connection, bad frame, or poor control over one's body. (or all three)
  
• Awkward angles. This one is hard to describe, but you'll know it immediately when you see it. The body is sometimes poking out in all directions at the same time, or maybe there is a tendency to lean in a certain way that just looks awkward. Good dancers generally have a posture and a sense of control over their body's movements that prevent this awkwardness.
  
• Lots of vertical movement. Without exception, swing dancing (and, really, any partner dancing) does not have a lot of vertical movement. Often, vertical movement is a problem of beginning dancers, but I've seen plenty of people who have been dancing for years who still have a lot of up-and-down-ness about them.
  

I want to conclude by underscoring an important point. Becoming a good dancer usually takes time and practice - like anything. However, a good dancer is not necessarily someone who has been dancing for a long time. There's no cut-off point, after X months, you are a "good dancer." A good dancer is not necessarily someone who's been dancing for longer than you, or who knows more moves than you do. A good dancer is not even necessarily someone who teaches you moves or even new dances.

I have observed dancers fresh out of a beginning lindy class - their first partner dance class ever - dancing right next to couples who have been dancing together for years, and noticed that the brand-new dancers appeared to be quite smooth, comfortable, and confident whereas the more experienced dancers were still choppy and awkward.

The difference seems to lie in the technique points outlined above. Smoothness, connection, frame, confidence.